2012: In Review

I have complained that this has been a very long year because of the unexpected gallbladder issues. I feel as though I should take a moment to highlight some of the positive things 2012 has brought that I forgot to mention in November.

- I had opportunity to see some amazing shows: Neil Young, Elton John, Hall and Oates, Elvis Costello, Iggy Pop, The Gaslight Anthem, Gogol Bordello, Andrew W.K., Geoff Rickly! There were a few shows that we had to miss but it's been a great concert year non the less.

- I made lots of awesome new friends, some close and others not so close.

- The My Chemical Romance tracks from the album we should have had 2010. We're just going to continue as though that album doesn't exist!

- I met Ernie Hudson, Sherilyn Fenn, Doug Bradley, Mick Foley and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

- I finally visited a Natural History Museum and got to see dinosaur replicas, followed by the best grilled cheese sandwich ever at Melt! 

- Saw my first drag show, it was super fun and I must go again! 

- Did my first benefit walk and helped raise money for a good cause while having fun with friends.

Here's to an even better year next year.. Happy New Year everyone, stay safe out there! 

No, I don't want kids. Not now and not ever!

So many people seem amazed by the fact that my husband and I simply don't want children. They just can't wrap their mind around it. Society has conditioned us to believe that you grow up, get married and have kids. I try to explain a few of the many reasons why I don't want children and they try to talk me into it. 

I am 29 years old and I feel as though I reached the age of reason several years ago. There was a brief period of time in my late teens, maybe even early 20's, where I thought that I might have children some day. But I realized that everyone in my family had gotten married or had a baby before they were 25 years old. I had made up my mind that I was too young for such decisions and waited. I honestly believe that if more people gave it this much thought, there would be less parents in the world. After a few years I realized a few very important reasons why I don't want children.

• Sleep: My body just doesn't like functioning on less than 8 hours per night and I am not a morning person. I'm not necessarily grumpy or in a bad mood. I just have a really hard time getting up early, I always have. So the thought of getting up in the middle of the night to tend to a crying baby just isn't appealing.
• Free time: I have so many hobbies and already don't feel like there are enough hours in the day. I am just not willing to sacrifice the things that make me happy in life in order to "fulfill my duty to society". 
• Cost: I have a decent income but in an emergency I have to cut back on things. It takes a lot of money to raise a child, especially in this economy. Things have changed a lot in the past 50 years and it takes two people working full time to make a decent living without children.
• Safety: With the rising population there is a much higher percentage of crime now than when I was a kid. It just isn't as safe anymore. People are far less courteous to one another and refuse to take accountability for their own actions. There are so many out of control children, even if you try to bring your child up right they could be negatively influenced by their schoolmates. 
• Heartache: I am a very sensitive person. I worry about what people think and I can't handle confrontation. It's pretty much a given that at some point your child will disappoint you no matter how good of a parent you are, it just happens. And who knows how they talk about you to their friends. My heart just couldn't take that kind of pain from someone that close to me.
• Childcare: The thought of putting the life a child into the hands of a teenager babysitting on the weekends or a daycare worker is terrifying. I used to babysit, I know how easily distracted teenagers can be!

You may disagree with my reasoning and that's fine. I am not saying that you shouldn't have children, I am simply explaining that not everyone needs to have children. I believe that the bolded topics above are things everyone should think about prior to procreating. I also hope that someday there will be a way to control who can/can't have children. There are many people in the world that want children and would make great parents but can't have them and too many shitty parents that shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.

Giving Thanks...

In the spirit of the season I thought that I would take time to discuss what I am thankful for. I have separated my thanks into two categories: 

What I am always thankful for.

My husband - He is my heart, my best friend, my rock, my conscience, my sanity. I have grown so much because of him and I am thankful for each day we have together. 

My parents - They beat all odds. As teenage parents their life wasn't easy but they stuck through it together. They taught me many life lessons, some of which may have been unintentional but important all the same. They have always been loving, supportive, comforting and best of all FUN!

My grandmothers - I have been lucky to have two independent, strong and loving grandmothers. I'm convinced that there isn't anything you could throw at them that they couldn't handle. Both were essentially single moms with full time jobs who always made sure their families were taken care of. I will always treasure the moments spent with them.

My mother-in-law - She is every bit as strong and caring as my grandmothers. I have always felt welcomed and comfortable. I know that she is always there for me and I wouldn't be nearly as crafty as I am without her inspiration! 

My A.M.Y.S. (Amy Marie Yates Schultz) - She is the closest I could imagine it would be like to have a sister. It is because of her that I can survive so far away from family. I know that I can talk to her about anything and she will not only listen but help me figure out a solution. She understands me sometimes when I don't understand myself and I am forever grateful for her friendship. 

The Internet - It is the reason I am able to keep in touch with my family. It has provided me with endless hours of entertainment and unlimited sources of inspiration for crafting. It has helped me meet my husband, find my job, purchase my house, plan events, travel, save money, make money and tons more.


What I am thankful for this year.

Dr. John Bach - I have had a pretty rough year dealing with my gallbladder issues. He was the first doctor to listen and promise a resolution. Because he kept his word I can now eat without pain and nausea. 

My job - I have been answering phones for Customer Service and Technical Support for over ten years. I have no complaints about the company that I work for but the job can get very tiring. We were hoping to move to Chicago at one point and I dreamed of working Internet Response at the center in Elgin. This spring they expanded the Internet Response Team to include our center and I was one of the many to transfer departments. Change is refreshing and it is much better having the issue up front in the event that you need to call someone. 

Project Free TV - I canceled cable two or three years ago and have never regretted this change. It saved me $125.00 per month and hundreds of useless hours sitting around watching TV. I have had Netflix for eight or nine years and love the ability to stream movies and TV shows but of course they don't have everything. I tried Hulu but it is pretty disorganized, only has the newest episodes of shows and has the same three commercials over and over. Just recently, Brandon found Project Free TV and we can now watch shows that aren't on Netflix on our XBOX and ROKU player. It saves time downloading new episodes of shows and ripping DVDs. 


I am also thankful for: my cats, music, movies, video games, paid bills, food, a home, my car, health insurance, room to craft, blue skies, fluffy clouds, rain, rainbows, the stars, etc. The list could go on! I may not always be the best at communicating it but I have learned to appreciate everything. I know it's early but... 

The end of a very long year!

Sometimes we take the littlest things in life for granted, like eating for example.

My story began in January after having friends over for a Halo party. As I do for most video game parties, I had purchased Little Caesar's because it is just so darn cheap! Now, I have a pretty strong stomach and vomiting is usually a choice that I don't make. So when I woke up throwing up the next day I thought I had food poisoning and was texting all of my friends to make sure they weren't sick. Thankfully it was just me and because I also had a pretty high fever I assumed that I just had the flu. 

After a few days I noticed a sharp pain just below my right breast and decided to go to Urgent Care to make sure that I didn't have pneumonia. The doctor was absolutely terrible! He asked me what I thought was wrong because he got most of his diagnoses from his patients. He also told me that the pain was probably because my bra was too tight. I was sent away with a prescription for Ibuprofen and a follow-up appointment in two weeks. 

By the time I went back for my follow-up I had been getting extremely nauseous after eating anything greasy or fatty. I was given a prescription for an anti-nausea medicine and we set an appointment to have an ultrasound of my gallbladder. 

This brings us to March. I have a follow-up regarding the details of my gallbladder to which I am told that I still have a gallbladder and it's normal. He then explains that he wants to do another test to see how my gallbladder is contracting but that we would schedule it in September. No explanation of course as to why we are waiting so long. 

Because I am horrible at confrontation, I took this opportunity to find a Primary Care Physician who scheduled the HIDA scan right away. By this point I was experiencing sharp stabbing pains a few times per week. The gallbladder tested normal in the scan despite the fact that I experienced pain during the procedure. The expected range is anything greater than 35% and allegedly my gallbladder was operating at 93%. 

We are now up to July. I had developed a constant mild aching pain and would still have the sharp stabbing pains depending on what I had to eat. The list grew to include sugar, dairy and lettuce. Oh and the nausea medicine was no longer working! I had a lovely visit to the emergency room for vomiting where they confirmed that my liver was fine and I didn't have any blood clots in my lungs. They gave me a prescription for Irritable Bowel Syndrome and sent me on my way. The doctor scheduled a CAT scan and of course found nothing so I was passed off to a gastroenterologist who performed an upper endoscopy. When I called to follow-up regarding the results I was told that nothing was found. I asked the nurse what we did next and was told that the doctor would call me. A week later I receive an appointment card in the mail for an office visit in three months. I kindly wrote them a letter explaining how unprofessional that was and to cancel the appointment. (A big step for me, might I add!) Then made an appointment with a surgeon. 

The surgeon was the first medical professional to actually listen to me and express sympathy. He assured me that we would get the problem fixed but explained there were a few other tests he wanted to do first. I visited another gastroenterologist. They did blood work to make sure that my thyroid was fine and confirmed that I didn't have a Glutton allergy, they also did a colonoscopy. Nothing was found yet again and pretty much everything that I ate was causing trouble. The gastroenterologist was super amazing, he said that all of my signs pointed to gallbladder disease despite the tests and alas I was scheduled for surgery! 

It has been less than a week since my gallbladder removal and despite the pain and soreness, I feel so much better! I was able to eat pizza the day I was released from the hospital without nausea or sharp stabbing pain. 

I took the time to share my experience for two reasons. The first, for those close to me if I have seemed not myself this year and come off grumpy I am so sorry! This year has been so stressful having procedures and appointments every few weeks all while being in pain and unable to eat. The second, and probably most important reason is that this is fairly typical. I have talked to many of my friends, family and co-workers over the year who have had their gallbladders removed and they had to keep fighting, some of them for a few years. I believe it is somewhere around 85% of women that have their gallbladder removed. The surgeon told me that less than 4% of the time the tests on the gallbladder are inaccurate yet out of about a dozen women that I know, five of us had our tests come back normal. I completely agreed with the surgeon that we needed to confirm that nothing else was wrong before going into surgery. If you are having the same problems and nothing is found and the signs point to gallbladder despite the tests... take that bad boy out! It's an unnecessary organ anyway! 

Star Afghan

I have been crocheting for a little over 8 years now and consider myself to be pretty good. I tried to make a star afghan about 4 years ago but had a hell of a time with the pattern. I tried a few different patterns and just couldn't get it to work. I would look at other completed afghans and didn't understand why I was having such difficulty with the pattern.

Back in February I was browsing around Ravelry and happened on a different version of the pattern and decided to give it a try again. (If you knit or crochet and aren't registered for Ravelry you should rectify that as soon as possible! It is a great place to find patterns but also see completed projects from the patterns.)

Anyway, I have been working on this off and on between other projects and finally finished it today. The pattern worked up pretty quickly, I could have finished it in a few weeks if I worked on it continuously. I used a pretty bulky yarn and K hook intending to use this as a rug but it is just so warm and soft that I changed my mind. 

I used bright colors toned down with black and I love how it turned out! You can get the pattern here if you'd like to make one yourself.

Ramblings from 2009

I was going through some stuff in my craft room and came across a journal from 2009. I had just started playing drums at the time and we were supposed to try to write lyrics. Nothing ever came of this little homework assignment but as I was flipping through the journal this page stood out to me.

Most of the time that I sit down to write I start with a word or a line and it turns into a story on it's own. It is never pertaining to me or anyone that I know. It is just a completely random fictional scenario, this is a good example:

a tear falls
hits the ground 
another follows 
she screams out loud 
she thinks to herself 
I'd better run 
her feet won't budge 
then she sees his gun 
she tries to recall 
the events that led up to this moment
her thoughts are stopped 
by the sound of a bullet
her chest feels warm 
she falls to the ground 
with her last breathe she whispers
"I forgive you..."

What did you think you would grow up to be?

Like most children I had dreams of being famous, I still do... but when I was little I honestly thought that I would grow up to be the crazy cat lady.

Most kids teased and told stories about the crazy cat ladies but not me. I was sure that they weren't crazy and may not have actually had any cats at all. If they did it was probably a reasonable amount like two or three. They were just misunderstood. They had names but no one cared to ask. They were old and lived alone with no visitors. The most you would see them outdoors would be to and from the mailbox. I felt sorry for them. They looked sad and lonely in their big old empty houses. 

When I thought about getting older I imagined that this would be me. I had assumed that no one would love me and I would end up alone with only cats to keep me company. I am not old yet but thankfully I have found someone who loves me in return and we only have two cats. :)

What's your Bacon number?

I have been very fortunate so far to meet a lot of musicians from some of my favorite bands as well as a few other minor celebrities. From the time that I started meeting people I have always played Six Degrees of Separation to see how close I was to Kevin Bacon. He isn't my favorite actor or anything but I don't mind him, it was just fun.

If you didn't already know, you no longer have to do the work yourself. You can bring up Google and type a person's name and then "Bacon number" to find out their relation to Kevin Bacon. 

Well, thanks to HorrorHound weekend back in March I am now only two degrees from Kevin Bacon. I had the pleasure of meeting Sherilyn Fenn who you may know as Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks. She was also in a movie with Kevin Bacon called Cavedweller. I have never heard of the movie and honestly will probably never watch it but it brings me as close to Kevin Bacon as I will probably ever get. 

Here is the picture of my husband and I with Sherilyn Fenn who still looks absolutely stunning! 

Reclaiming the lost items of my youth one at a time.

It's funny how my memory works. There are so many people and events that I have forgotten over the years, but I can tell you exactly where I left my beloved My Little Pony when I was 5 years old.

My parents were in their early 20's at the time which meant I was usually the only kid around a bunch of adults. As I suppose most kids probably do, I always traveled with my favorite toy. At this particular time in my life it was My Little Pony and I took her everywhere.

It was fall of 1988 when I accidentally left her behind. We were near Orrville, OH at my Uncle Emmett's girlfriend's house. His girlfriend had a few horses, when they put me on the horse I was terrified and wanted down immediately. As it turned out I had every right to be terrified because later that day it bucked off one of my parent's friends. I seem to recall video of that particular incident but no idea if it still exists anywhere. Anyway, I was inside at the time sitting in the corner behind a recliner in the living room quietly playing with My Little Pony. Mom came looking for me because it was unusual for me to be quiet. When she called for me I came out of hiding but left My Little Pony on the floor behind the chair. I got distracted and forgot to go back to retrieve her before we left.

For some strange reason this memory has stuck with me over the years. I remembered that my pony was blue with pink hair and had a desert on her hip. I would always pay attention to coloring books and toys to see if any of them looked familiar. Last night I finally decided to research the My Little Pony line and I found her! Her name is CoCo Berry and for about $20.00 we will be reunited.