Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Vomit Free in 2014

I usually don't set New Year's resolutions so I don't know the rules. Specifically, whether or not there is a deadline. I would think that because it's still January and I haven't already broken it that I would be okay. If so my resolution is to go all year vomit free.

In my adult life there have only been three occasions where I threw up against my will. Usually it's an option that I don't choose. Two of the times I was forced to throw up were because of food poisoning. The third time was the day after having my gallbladder removed. Stupid me took pain medication on an empty stomach and then took a shower. I spent the day dizzy and fighting the urge to vomit, sadly in the end I lost.

I absolutely hate the feeling of being nauseous. I shudder thinking about that watery feeling you get when it's that time. I despise the act of throwing up and how it always feels like I didn't chew my food up very well. But most of all, I loathe how dirty and weak I feel after it's over. I feel pretty confident that it probably isn't anyone's favorite activity but I know that some people don't mind it. For example, my husband swears that he could tear a phone book in half afterwards. However, despite many requests this has yet to be proven.

So my goal for 2014 is to not throw up. I don't drink so that makes it a little easier. I no longer listen to my husband when he tells me just to do it because it will make me feel better. And I have also learned not to take medicine on an empty stomach. So here's hoping I don't get food poisoning!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Grief is a strange and unpredictable monster.

It's been just over two weeks since my mother-in-law passed away and I find myself all mixed up. When I'm home I feel fine and it bothers me. I am torn between feeling bad that I'm not sad and being thankful that I'm handling it okay. But the moment I step out the door I feel lost, empty, sad and vulnerable. I want a hug but at the same time I just want to be left alone.